Crazy Faith

Photo by: TylerTookThis

I made a brief mention of it in my original announcement post and as promised, today's post dives into how I made the move from Columbus, OH to Charlotte, NC with 3 kids in less than 2 months. Thoughts of how the heck could I pull this off in such a short amount of time with so many factors to consider ran through my mind almost daily. As I was preparing for my move, I simultaneously revisited Mike Todd's book and the sentence I kept repeating to myself when doubt would creep in was "It's only crazy until it happens" and that statement couldn't have been more true. The term 'Crazy Faith' took on a whole new meaning for me in a matter of a few short weeks.

As I said in a previous post, the term coincidence is no longer in my vocabulary as I continue to grow in my spirituality. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. And I mean EVERYTHING. From something as simple as a delay in leaving the house which causes me to avoid a major accident that I could've easily been involved in, to being approached by a random stranger with a word that I needed to hear. I wholeheartedly believe that God is intentional is every single aspect of my life and this move was no different.

September of last year, I created a virtual Bible Study group where a couple of trusted friends and I complete weekly Bible plans and devotionals through the YouVersion Bible app. From here, I've been able to connect with women who were in different stages of their spiritual journey which contributed to immense growth in my own. One of the things I had mentioned to the group was that I talked to God often but I wasn't sure if He'd ever spoken back to me. Though I knew God would send me signs or provide confirmation to me through other people, I think part of me was waiting for this booming voice to come through with clear instructions on what to do next. I remember talking to my therapist about it (I LOVE being able to blend my spirituality with my therapeutic journey, but more on that later) and I told her how I wanted God to come sit down on my bed and tell me what the heck I was supposed to do. I was in the season I mentioned in my previous post where I had a multitude of important decisions to make and was too overwhelmed to make any. I will never forget the question she posed to me and it was "if God told you to pick up & move right now, would you do it?" I didn't have a definitive answer. For the first time during a session, I was speechless. I came up with various conditional statements like "well, if He said go to *insert location*" or "if I could have time to get things lined up then..." None of my responses were 'absolutely' and in that moment she said to me, be careful what you ask God for if you're not prepared to obey Him. This conversation put things into such eye-opening perspective for me and let me know that although I had definitely made strides in building my relationship with God, I still wasn't where I needed to be.

On March 13, 2023, I posted a message in the group mentioned above where I'd gotten to a place of wanting to surrender my plans to Him and just allow whatever was meant to be to flow and if you know me then you know that it's not an easy feat for me. I am the queen of needing alllllll of the details before making a decision. The queen of needing all i's dotted and t's crossed before moving forward. Relinquishing control was simply just not something I was particularly good at. As you can see from the message though, I had grown tired of merely existing and truly believed that there was no way that this is the life God intended for me. (see the message below)

Fast forward to May 15th, my dear friend, Ashley initiated a fast and I made a decision to join her. Fasting had become my way of regaining focus and allowing me to connect with God in newer and more intimate ways. I immediately knew that I was going to fast from sweets because snacks and treats really had me in a chokehold so I knew it would be something meaningful, but I wasn't quite sure what I was fasting for. I sent her the message below and less than 24 hours later, I was met with a confirmation that I knew was nothing but God.

Though separated, my longterm partner/kids' dad and I were still living together at the time and the next afternoon, we received a notice that our place of residence had been sold and we had 45 days to vacate. If you know me then you know under these circumstances, I would've normally panicked. My anxiety would've kicked in and my mind would be going a million miles a minute trying to figure out what to do, but it didn't. I didn't stress. I didn't become fearful. I wasn't overwhelmed. I remember calling my mom with the most calm voice and telling her what happened and quite frankly, she was a little nervous at my level of calmness LOL. She asked me what I was going to do and I'm like you know, I don't know but I can tell you that I'm not worried about it; what's happened has happened and stressing won't change that. My immediate thought was 'what if this is my sign to make the move?' After all, I had just asked that God would reveal to me what I needed to focus on during my fast and here we were. Because we were no longer together, I was already having to wrap my mind around living on my own again. Prior to separating, we had already made plans to relocate to Charlotte next year, so I thought to myself this would be perfect timing for the kids. My daughter would be entering high school in the fall and how much easier would it be to transfer when everyone is new vs. waiting until her sophomore year and having to try to navigate her way as a new kid in a new environment when connections and friendships had already been established. My boys are young enough to not have true connections to Ohio (outside of family) and I could give them the experience of growing up somewhere different...it was perfect. Because my therapist and I have been together for 4 years, my other immediate thought was I'm not starting over with someone new so if she can't practice in NC (I attend therapy virtually), then the move is a no and I'll have to figure something else out (and yes, it was absolutely that serious for me). I messaged her and she almost immediately responded confirming that she was licensed to practice in North Carolina...again, alignment. I found a high school that I loved and was top-rated in the district and began searching for homes that would put us in the zone for my daughter to attend and let me just say, this was a challenge. All of the homes that I loved and were in a good price point fell in school districts that simply didn't match my standards and one thing I didn't want to do is sacrifice quality of schooling for an ideal living space. One night, my daughter and I were on Trulia and she sent me a listing for a GORGEOUS townhome. I mean, it was absolutely perfect for us and appeared to be in a beautiful, upscale neighborhood and fell within the right school district. No sooner than I texted the link to my mom did I see that it was pulled off the market. I was bummed but now I at least had better direction on where to search. I kid you not, I went to sleep and woke up around 4am to feed my youngest son and while checking my email, I saw that another unit in the same area went on the market. I contacted them first thing in the morning and got my paperwork started to apply. Within less than a week, I was approved. It wasn't until then that it hit me that I was moving; like no longer "I want to do this" or "One day, I'm going to...", I was officially moving. Sight unseen (outside of pics on Trulia which we know can be misleading), I signed my lease.

Though everything was seemingly aligning and fitting into perfect place making this move seem more and more destined to be, there was one major element that had to be considered and it was confirming that my kids' dad's job would transfer to Charlotte as well. When we found out it didn't, my mind was blown. How could every little detail line up perfectly and this major detail not follow suit? How was I supposed to make the decision to move our kids out of state with no definitive timeline of when he would be able to move as well? We had some pretty tough conversations and I explained everything from start to finish from my fast to my prayers to literally every other detail being worked out with minimal effort on my part. Despite knowing that his kids would no longer be in the same state, he trusted me enough and was selfless enough to let us go. He knew how long I'd been wanting to move to Charlotte and understood the benefits of this timing as it pertained to the kids and I really couldn't be more grateful. Despite the current distance, we remain incredible co-parents and he is still extremely active in their lives. From multiple video chats a day to making regular visits to see them and being physically present for major moments (such as my daughter's first day of high school), he hasn't missed a beat. We have made the best out of a completely rapid and life-changing situation and I couldn't be more proud of the both of us. And though this definitely meant a major change for him not seeing the kids every day, it was also a realization for me that I would be on my own in another state with MINIMAL resources (and when I say minimal, I mean MINIMAL) and that thought alone scared me quite a bit. I am so thankful for my trusted spiritual counsel and the handful of friends/family who I'd shared my plan with who encouraged me and pushed me to stay true to the vision no matter how crazy it may seem to others. I had to make a conscious decision to be ruled by faith and not by fear and take a chance of walking into unfamiliar territory, just trusting the steps that God was putting before my path. I haven't made a decision this risky since quitting my job of almost 8 years immediately following the death of my dad without so much as an interview lined up. Even in that situation, I had prayed about it and God let me know that I would be alright so long as I put my trust in Him and I had faith that He would come through for me again. There's no way this move would've been timed and executed so seamlessly if it weren't part of His perfect plan for me. I know that explaining this out loud had some people questioning my judgment and quite frankly, even my sanity but I am happy to say that we live in a neighborhood that I absolutely LOVE, my daughter attends a top-rated school, and my sons are in one of the best daycares in the area and all of this was done by following a complete act of blind faith.

Since publicly announcing my move, I've had several people reach out to me stating that they've wanted to do something similar and wanting to know how to make such a bold move especially with young children, and my first and only piece of advice is to PRAY. And while I know everyone isn't spiritual/religious, I will never be able to share my story without also sharing how God's hand has been in all of it. We try so hard to control our destiny and keep our hands on the steering wheel while God is trying to take us elsewhere but I will tell you, the sooner you surrender to His plan for your life, the sooner you can experience more than you've ever imagined to be possible, and I am 100% living proof of that. I hope that if you're reading this and you have a big (or small) decision to make, this encourages you not to feel like you have to make it on your own. Seek trusted counsel and let your path be guided. I promise that you won't regret it.

To God, thank you. To my kids' dad, thank you. To my close friends, thank you. To my mom, thank you. To my spiritual counsel, thank you. To my bestie who truly made a HUGE part of this possible, THANK YOU. It's true that the people you surround yourself with can either have a negative impact or a positive one and I am forever grateful that I'm surrounded by people who push me to reach my maximum potential and want nothing more than to see me happy and living a purpose-filled life. ❤️