One Year of Crazy Faith

Is it me or is this year moving like it’s on steroids? I know I can’t be the only one who’s confused as to how we’re moving into August already. 😳 While the months of June & July took some absolutely unexpected turns, I couldn’t be more grateful for the position it set me up for as we move into a new month. I have some MAJOR life updates that I’ll be sharing one day soon, but for now, let’s focus on the topic at hand.

Drumroll please…

July 1st marked the official one-year anniversary of my move to Charlotte and when I say I still find myself in moments of shock, I mean that. Like, really…one year ago, my life changed for the absolute better and I’m often in disbelief that this is actually life for my kids & I. To witness how we've all adjusted & thrived in our new environment. To see how much I’ve been pushed. To see how many obstacles and challenges that were sent to deter me, that I’ve been able to overcome. There are days where I drive through my neighborhood or pull into my driveway and still can’t believe that this is really my life and in those moments, I find myself thinking “God really did that.” I am also ecstatic to share that my kids' dad has officially made his move to the area as well. Though it look longer than we both originally anticipated, we also know that God's plan and timing will always prevail. Co-parenting across statelines was most certainly a challenge however, I am extremely grateful that we were able to make it work over the past year and look forward to having his help & support nearby and restoring a sense of normalcy to our kids' lives.

The last two months have been a major time of introspect on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to go. I’ve learned (and unlearned) so much about myself, so as I celebrate the one-year mark of a “yes” that changed the entire trajectory of my life, I want to share some some of the realizations I have come to. While my list far exceeds what's listed below, I wanted to highlight what I would consider my top 3 with hopes that it resonates with someone reading this.

Realization #1: I can do hard things.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the initial process to get to Charlotte was almost too smooth to be true and to this day, I’m proud of myself for being obedient and answering the call that God placed on my heart. As I’ve also mentioned in previous posts, my move had its share of ups & downs that were seemingly never-ending. As much as I hate to say it, I often feel as though adversity & resilience are my middle names because the challenges I tend to face after making big/important decisions are more than I care to face at times. They’ve been more than I felt like I had the capacity to withstand, but by the grace of God, here I am still in Charlotte and flourishing. If this move taught me absolutely nothing else, it’s that I’m able to stand (and sometimes kneel 🙃) in the face of adversity in order to achieve ideal outcomes. It proved that I am able to sacrifice and surrender my own levels of comfort and control in order to create (and receive) a better life and if I'm being honest, that’s a reminder that I absolutely needed at this current stage of my life.

Realization #2: My life is one, big ongoing faith walk.

As I mentioned earlier, the month of June was really a pivotal month for me. I encountered the Holy Spirit in such a profound way and found myself unintentionally stumbling into yet another season of blind faith, this one even bigger than the last. While I thought my move to Charlotte was THEE major step, I’ve recently come to realize that that was but a mere first step. I truly believe that was just a small test of my willingness to obey. It was the baby step to determine if I trust God the way I say (and post) that I do. And I admit, I have absolutely NO idea what the near (or distant) future holds, but I’m just doing my absolute best to trust in the way things are unfolding for me and know that His plans are always greater than my own. This current chapter is a taaaaaad bit more unsettling than my comfort level prefers, but I’m also reminded that anytime I’ve taken a leap of faith in obedience, my life has only elevated to amazing new levels and I’m trusting that this will be no different. I know firsthand that walking in faith can definitely feel unnerving and risky at times, but deep down, I also believe that I am about to walk into the absolute best season of my life, mark my words.

Realization #3: Discomfort is often necessary for true growth to occur.

One thing I noticed throughout my undergrad career is that I thrive the most when I’m under pressure. This meant writing 10-page papers that I knew about well in advance, the night before they were due to be submitted. In my graduate school career, this meant working against the clock to get the countless assignments and discussion board posts that I’d known about for weeks, submitted by 11:59pm on the day they were due. There’s just something about my back being up against the wall that pushes my level of performance to the next level. And while I typically always came out on top in those situations, that doesn’t negate the high (and often avoidable) stress that came along with that lifestyle.

As I have moved into a different phase of my life, I’ve found similar patterns still exist. Being comfortable typically produces negative emotions for me. Feelings such as being lost or unfulfilled. Constantly feeling as though there’s more to life that I should be experiencing, but being too apprehensive to take the necessary action to shake things up. Avoiding discomfort is a sure way to end up with a life that you really don't want. And although the seasons of discomfort that I've experienced are enough to make my head spin, those are also the times where things get the most "interesting". Those are the times where I’m forced to utilize muscles that haven’t been engaged in a while. This could be muscles of faith, muscles of endurance, or even the muscles it requires to seek clarity in the midst of confusion when absolutely nothing makes any sense. Whatever muscle it is, it’s normally requiring me to be stretched beyond my current capacity and having to rely completely on God to see me through. And as scary and stressful as discomfort can be, what’s produced out of that season is almost always worth the reward.

Food for Thought:

1. What was the last challenge you experienced that forced you to get uncomfortable?

2. How did you respond?

3. Is there something you’ve been longing to do but haven’t yet found the courage/strength to do?

4. If so, what’s holding you back?

5. What small steps can you take towards bringing that ‘thing’ to fruition?