All too often, we find ourselves living in miserable circumstances and/or situations that we intentionally or sometimes unintentionally placed ourselves in. We chronically complain about how we wish things were different and what we would do if x,y,z happened, etc. We spend countless minutes or sometimes collectively, hours of our day wishing away the life we have in order to experience a better one. A life more ideal than what we are currently living. How many things have you ever been unhappy with that you yourself held the power to change but failed to take the action to do so? How many times have you stared at yourself in the mirror wishing this was smaller and that was bigger? How many times have you said you were disappointed in yourself for not finishing your degree? How many times have you wished you had a better job or were making better wages? Now in any of the situations mentioned above that may apply or any other situation that may come to mind, think of what effort you put in to alter the outcome of that situation. What have you done to get yourself closer to your fitness goal? What have you done to put yourself in a position to be ready for a better opportunity when it comes along? More than we probably care to admit, at some point in time, we’ve sat and wallowed in our self-pity and have become depressed or frustrated that we’re not where we want to be. Less often than we are honestly willing to say out loud, WE have been the biggest obstacle standing in the way of our success. Our excuses, our laziness, our lack of motivation, etc. We have made up in our minds that our goals/visions are not important enough to work towards, so we choose to sacrifice them rather than achieve them. I’ve spoken on my fitness journey before, and since then, it has still been very non-existent unfortunately up until now, and by now, I mean today. In the spirit of being transparent, I will admit that my body is truly one of my biggest insecurities. My body is what has made me desire to be less social because the thought of having to wear something other than leggings and an over-sized hoodie/sweater makes me grossly uncomfortable. Sitting poolside in basketball shorts and a t-shirt or remaining seated at social gatherings in an effort to not be seen has become my life; a life which I’ve grown tired of living. Cringing at the thought of dressing up for a wedding or birthday dinner. Wanting to crawl into a ball anytime that I need to go into a store try clothes on for an event. All of these feelings are ones that I’ve grown extremely exhausted of experiencing and in light of this most recent epiphany, I made a conscious decision the other day. I made the decision to discontinue complaining about things that I myself, have the power to change. I have the power to modify my diet and get back in the gym, but making excuses as to why I haven't done so is simply much easier and more convenient. I decided to create a list of the things I dislike most about my body and counteracted that list with action-based results. What specifically do I dislike the most? What can I be doing to change the feelings I have about myself? What things on this list are within MY realm of control and which of these are not? These are the questions that I asked myself as I worked through this exercise and upon its completion, I realized that the only person I could blame for the feelings that I have about myself, is me. My lack of motivation and my lack of discipline hold me back from living life in a body that I actually wake up comfortable in. Now while your insecurities may not lie in a physical aspect relative to health and fitness, I’m sure there’s an area of your life that you wish was better. I challenge you to create a list that is completely free of your own judgment or that from others. Think of all the things that could/"should" be different in your life if you had your way and upon doing so, list the action that you’ve taken (or lack thereof) to get there. As you review your list, are you fully satisfied with the effort that you’ve put in? Or are you able to identify areas of opportunity where you may have dropped the ball? Can you reflect on your efforts and admit to yourself that you were the main force of resistance standing between you and your goal(s)? Or will you continue to blame others and the universe for your own shortcomings? I write this post from a place of self-reflection and not a place of judgment as I myself, am guilty of pointing the finger at the wrong party. I simply want us to collectively be better. I genuinely want us...all of us to collectively reach our maximum potential and live a life that we are completely happy and content with. In addition to the exercise above, I challenge you to jot down some items that you hope to accomplish in the short/long-term future. Even if it’s something that will take time to accomplish, determine what action steps you can be taking right now. Whether your desire is to purchase a home in 3 years or pay down your debt in 10, determine what components this goal will entail. Often times, we become so intimidated by the size of our goal that we talk ourselves out of even taking the first step towards it. Consider this your sign that there is no first step too big or too small. Consider this your sign to get busy creating that quarterly budget plan or signing up for that credit-building workshop. Consider this your sign to truly look within and find the root cause of what’s hindered you from being successful in achieving your goals. Make the decision right now, at this very moment, to either remain the same OR work towards becoming the best version of yourself. In the end, you are the only person you will have to answer to when you look back over your life and realize the power that you possessed to make a better life for yourself that you failed to execute. What will you decide?
The next time that you wish to fix your mouth to complain, I challenge you to fix your mind resolve.